My Nan has just turned 79, and what she lacks in a youth she definitely makes up for in wit.
Waitress “What kind of omelette would you like?”
Nan: “An egg one!”
“I’ve got two pairs of knickers on, so as long as I don’t cough I should be alright…”
Nan: “Here, if its free I’ll try some!”
My Uncle: “Try what?”
Nan: “Some wiffy…”
Hotel Manager: “Can I help?”
Nan: “Yes. I seem to have a leak. I know I asked for a sea view but I didn’t want it in the fecking bedroom!”
Nan walks into the FCUK shop and shouts : “Oh, this is one of those f**k shops!”
Each and everyone is true to the word. They’re all I can remember for now so watch this space. I can promise you she’ll give us more!